Most People Don't Know This But...

16 September 2014

blog challenge

Most People Don't Know This But...

Most people don't know but I'm actually okay with being alone. No, before you get ahead of yourself, I'm not antisocial, in fact I love the company of others in different situations.
But when I talk about being alone I actually mean a lot of different things. For one, I am actually okay with walking down the hallways of school alone without someone to walk with, or walk late into a classroom, travel alone, or even be in a class without a friend. I'm actually okay with this believe it or not. I do have to admit, at first I was terrified about being alone - terrified about what others would think about me, or how others would see me.
Actually, as I write this I'm thinking about what changed my perception to feel this way? I think it has a lot to do with myself actually, especially the way I see myself. I used to be very harsh towards myself, towards the way I look, my body or even the way I laugh... Then, surrounding myself with positive people who actually encouraged me to see myself in a positive light, helped me become more comfortable with myself.
With this new sense of confidence, I was able to become confident not only in myself, but with whom I present myself to others. I really don't care if I am in a lecture hall sitting alone... the point of me taking that class is not to look cool, but it's for me to learn about something I'm interested in. It is these little alterations in my thoughts that actually made me comfortable with myself today, and I hope this will encourage others to hopefully learn to be okay about being alone. It takes time, but it i worth it! 

Read article

What It Was Like Growing Up With Two Backgrounds!

15 September 2014

blog challenge

What It Was Like Growing Up With Two Backgrounds!

Before some of you readers get mad at the title of this blog post, you must know now that I am talking from the experience of growing up... so when I was much more younger and pretty much didn't know anything.

Anyways, for those of you who didn't already know, yes, I am mixed child. My mother was born in the Philippines while my dad was born in Sri Lanka. Making me half Filippina and half Sri Lankan. I know, crazy isn't it? Even until now, I usually get a mixed reaction from people when I tell them, ranging from "oh wow that's amazing!" to "well that sounds random." Yes, I've experienced it all. 

But, looking back at my past, I'm actually ashamed of the way I felt about having two backgrounds. I never really understood why I was "stuck" with two backgrounds, but I clearly remember always wanting to avoid the question whenever people were talking about they background.

I think it stems from the fact of what kind of elementary school I went to - it was literally dominated by white people; mostly Portuguese people. So, basically almost 99% of the students in my elementary school literally had only one background. So, whenever it was the first day of school and the teachers were asking questions about us, and each student had to answer the questions in front of everyone, then when it was my turn, I always saw the confusion on peoples faces whenever I told them.

Then I would have to explain how my mom had a Filipino friend who was dating one of my dad's Sri Lankan friends, and that couple set up a blind date for both my mother and father; and taxa that's how they met.

*****

But then when I went to high school, and met so many different people from so many different backgrounds, I actually gained this confidence about who I am. I was actually no longer ashamed to talk about where I was from. In fact, I began to embrace it and surprisingly, others actually found it quite beautiful. Which, I agree. I find others who are of mixed backgrounds to be absolutely beautiful!

Turns out I was ashamed of nothing. Mixed children are actually very beautiful. Not trying to seem cocky, but those are usually the compliments I receive before others find out that I am a mixed breed. 

Read article

My Most Prized Possession

02 September 2014

blog challenge

My Most Prized Possession

I have a bunch of things to choose from that could be considered my prize possession. Truthfully, not only do I value every gift that has ever been given to me but I value all those that I've bought for myself. I can easily choose something sentimental that was given to me from my mom, or an object given to me by my dad. Or the tangible object from Jay (click HERE to read about that). There are many things to choose from. But, I really sat down and thought about it - I looked around my room to see if there is one object I really take care of - consciously or subconsciously... then it hit me.

This is actually one of the earliest photos I have of Jayshaun. It was a spontaneous gift to me from Jay during our cadet trip to Washington, D.C back 2011. Wow... that's actually a long time ago now that I think about it. This was a first trip that Jay and I went together, but don't get too excited or shocked. This was an organized trip with my squadron (Air Cadets) and so it wasn't like a honeymoon or anything. Common... we were like 16 at the time. Nevertheless, this gift is actually extremely special to me. 

Why? Well, it isn't the first gift Jay got for me - beautiful blue earrings were. One of the days when we were in Washington, the other cadets and I had shopping time at one of the malls. For some reason we decided to split up - he go with his boys, and I go with my girls around the mall. Nothing too big or anything. But, as we were approaching the time that we were suppose to meet back on the tour bus, both our groups randomly met up and talked. 

He and his friend Jahleel were talking about how they went to the build-a-bear place and got a bear for Christina (Jahleel's girlfriend at the time). I kind of got jealous - but then again I didn't. I knew that Jay didn't bring a lot of money to begin with on the trip, and I was in no position to expect a gift from him. I was just happy we sat with each other on the bus talking and getting to know sooo much more about each other! 

Then my group of friends came on the bus first and a few minutes later, Jay's group of friends did as well. When he came to sit beside me, he gave me a build-a-bear box and asked me to hold it. At first I thought it was Christina's, which at the time I had no idea why I had to hold it... but then when he sat beside me (he had the window seat) he told me to open it. I opened it, and the first thing I see is a build-a-bear birth certificate with the name Jayshaun on it. I looked deeper into the box and saw the most beautiful bear ever! Ever since then, he became ours - our first ours. 

I know it may seem kind of cheesy, but I've never had a guy ever give me a stuffed animal before... something meaningful and so thoughtful. It was just an absolutely beautiful gift and you could tell that he had good intention and he definitely wanted to buy me something to make me happy just out of no where. Til this stay, I still have Jayshaun hanging out close to my bed side on my dresser, sitting on its own little chair with it's basketball jersey, shorts, running shoes and sweat bands for the forehead and arms! OH, and to make him more ours, we pierced his ears!

Is your prize possession a stuffed animal from a significant other? I would love to know, just leave it in the comments below!

Read article