"It is not your place" is something I've heard too many times this past weekend. And, honestly, I am fed up with hearing that phrase.
Unfortunately, a great family friend was involved in a situation that was just stupid and selfish from different dimension. My friend, whom I consider a little brother, was recently caught buying drugs (i.e, weed) on school property, and told the cops and principle that were more in his locker. I did not find out about this until his parents (who are great friends with my parents), invited us over Friday afternoon, along with another family whom we are all great friends with.
I wasn't present, but his parents conducted an intervention that involved all 3 families, because they really trust us and see us as family, and wanted their son to know that he has support coming from everyone.
I got there a bit late, and actually ended up missing the intervention. But, when I did arrive, the adults were in one room, and the kids were in another. I was talking to the adults to understand what had happened and how disappointed they were in their son. They expressed their emotions and feelings about the entire situation. Tears, anger, sadness... a lot of emotions were expressed.
As for me, I was just shocked; I was heart broken that not only was he stupid enough to do something like that on school property, but I just felt he was stupid enough to get involved in drugs at such a young age. I couldn't believe it, and for once in my life, I was just lost for words. I didn't know what to say to the parents, and I didn't know what I wanted to say to him.
When I went to the room to where the other kids were; he was laying on the bed sad. My sister was there, and the other family's kids were there to. It was just a serious environment, and they told me that they already gave him the talk, and I could add whatever I felt.
Skipping forward...
When we were just hanging out and talking, I realized that this wasn't his first time, and every one had decided they wanted to the parents to think it was. I also found out that there were previous times that he had brought weed into their house without his parents knowledge. And.... he distinctly said that he will be smarter when it comes to buying and hiding...
At this point, I wanted to leave the room and tell his parents. Why? Because when they were telling me the story earlier, they were telling me that this was his first time trying it, and they are happy they can stop it now. Also, I care about this boy; I see him as my little brother. I didn't think it was right of me knowing something about him that can possibly ruin his life later on if he actually continues on with this path....
Before going to the parents, I actually freaked myself out. I didn't want to cause more problems within their family, nor did I want to lose the trust of him.. So, I'm left here confused. I asked my bf, and he said, "it is not your place"; I asked my sister why she agreed to not tell the parents, and she said, "its not your place".
Honestly... I don't get it... why isn't it my place? If the parents felt that we were so enough for them to let us know what happened, and be involved in the intervention, then maybe it is my place to say something, especially, if it is only in the greater good of this boy I see as my brother. My intentions is not malicious... of course I don't want him to get into more trouble, but I don't want him to continue on this path of lying to his parents, and taking drugs...
But, repeatedly people are saying, "its not your place". And, it just confuses me because I know if someone knows something about someone I love - good or bad - I would want to know...
Knowing this really puts me in a difficult position... because I really do not know what to do. I want to say something because I feel it is right. And I know, if something worse happens in the near future, I would feel responsible for not going with my gut and telling someone to prevent it...
"it's not your place" honestly just leaves me so confused and doubting me to see my actions as right or wrong...
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