forever
22 November 2013

Finally Reunited

22 November 2013

Finally Reunited

On November 19, I turned 19 years old.  As happy as my day was, an unfortunate event happened… Our long time family friend passed away.  It was hard to hear this news as my uncle (that's what I call him) has been apart of my sister and I's life ever since the age of 6.  I'm 19 now, that 13 years our families have been inseparable.

The viewing was last night, which was why I was unable to blog something then, and the service is later today.  As sad as it was, the family was unable to contact old friends that grew up with us as well. So my sister and I decided to pull out our contacts and try to contact our karate family.

Yes, I took karate don't be surprised.  My sister and I started at the age of 6 and we were able to attain our junior black belt.  So that was a huge accomplishment for us, and the friends we made was a bonus.

And last night, for the first time in years, we were all together in one room - and wow it was an amazing feeling.  You know how strong our friendship is when we all talked as if we just saw each other yesterday.  It wasn't awkward at all, it was just emotional because it felt like old times.  Being in that room with those group of people reminded me of my life at karate, and how much I miss doing it with them.

As unfortunate as the circumstances was, I think it sad that it takes a death in our family in order to get all of us to be together.  As happy as we all were, we decided to do a skating party with all of us just like old times.

Towards the end of the viewing, some of us started getting emotional because who knows when the next time is when we will all be together again… lol I'm thinking either Manan's or Joa's wedding (hopefully)! So my sensei wanted all of us to take a photo together to remember this moment, because like I said, it's been years since we have all been in the same room.
Standing up (left to right): Manan, Cody, Linda, Vanessa (ME), Kenneth, Shirley (my mom), Senpei Leigh, Billy, Sensei Ken, Kendra, Amanda, Lauren, Sensei Kim, Joe
Kneeling (left to right): Ashley, Daniel, Tony, Michael

Just looking at this photo makes me smile… I grew up with all of them ever since I was six years old.  We are missing other people, but hopefully we can all meet up for the skating party and really have the whole team there.  I love them all as they all made a huge impact on my life.  Thank you so much for guys!

R.I.P Bernie Sena Cabalse. 




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20 September 2013

My Realization

20 September 2013

My Realization

Today I realized that the love that I have for my JJ.  Believe it or not... I was actually beginning to doubt whether we were just a temporary thing, or something more permanent.

It all began as a bad week for him, just one bad thing happening after the next.  And honestly, it was just frustrating and its hard to keep yourself positive when nothing is going the way you want them to go... But today was different, he finally got the permanent sticker (for his license plate), and we were excited to go into the city.

Driving in two separate cars, he was following me as we were on our way towards the city.

BOOOM! Did he just hit me? I just couldn't believe it, but as I got out of my car, I realized that he got hit.... BAD.  As I slowly approached him with worry and scare, he was upset, and the first thing he said to me was "All my hard work, gone."

I guess that was just the worst thing, knowing how hard someone worked on something, like his car for almost 2 years building it and fixing it, just to see it totalled in a matter of seconds.  I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to react .. My main concern was his back.  Having previous back problems, I just wanted to ensure his spine wasn't hurt and he was capable of movement.

Leaving out some details, the Ambulance came... that was the hard part.  Still shocked and upset from the entire situation, there he was... being pulled into the ambulance in a stretcher.... That was upsetting and it is sad to see someone you care about sooo much hurt and you can't do anything to help...

I obviously ended up following the ambulance to the hospital, where I stood by his side for literally 5 hours.  Long story short, I am just glad nothing too bad happened to him... he just has to make sure he takes it easy.

But besides this hectic situation, I realized how close I was to losing someone so important to me.  I realized that I shouldn't let little things upset me, or just ruin our day... what's the reason for that when life is so short?

I remember the entire time, he just kept saying "I'm glad I was the one who was following you, instead of having it the other way around" ... how do I even respond to that.  There's no words that can sum up the amount of love that was expressed with just that one sentence...

Today, I realized that the way I feel, is coming straight from the heart.  It is not something I portray through force... If I didn't care so much, I wouldn't have been upset to see him upset, I wouldn't have been worried seeing him in a stretcher.. and I definitely wouldn't have stayed by his side for 5 hours if I didn't care.

Take care of what and whom you love.  Treat them with love and care, and hope for the best for them.  There is no point of constantly attracting negativity to you're relationships, whether it is with your friends, family or even boyfriend or girlfriend.  Take the time to genuinely get to know everyone with the intention of wanting to know them..

It will be worth it in the end, because not everyone always gets a second chance.  Live your life now without any regrets and without hurting others... You might never know the next time you will continue to share great memories.



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19 September 2013

Missing You

19 September 2013

Missing You

Missing someone isn't about how long it has been since you've seen them or the amount of time since you've talked.  It's about that very moment when you find yourself doing something and wishing they were right there by your side. 

People always talk about how distance is what makes a relationship stronger... I personally do not agree.  Distance makes things so much more harder, especially if you are an emotional person like me.

Whether you are physically beside me or not... there is always that moment where I hope you are missing me as much as I am missing you.  Otherwise, what is the point?

What would be the point in me putting 100% just to get back only 20%... it doesn't make sense.  Even just writing this post, makes me miss you more.  I would rather be beside you on the bed just talking about nonsense.  For all I know, you are out there, looking at cars and not even missing me one bit...

I wish you were here. I wish you missed me as much as I miss you.


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06 September 2013

for JJ.

06 September 2013

for JJ.

Have you ever love someone so much, you didn't care what happened to yourself?

I don't want this post to sound like some diary entry about love, but I came across this question while I was blogging on tumblr earlier, and I was astonished on how accurate this question was.  I would do anything for you, even if it is me putting myself at risk...

I think there is a lot of us out there in the world who can agree when I say that you just know when you are in love... Whether it is unconditional love from your mom, or you're "first love" with a girl, or even you're first and only long-term committed relationship with a guy... You just know. 

So it's is so weird to be of my age talking about "love" (whatever it may be).  But from personal experience, I can honestly say, the moment I place you in my heart, I give you my all love... and I will honestly do anything for you.  Regardless of what it is, if you need me I am there.

At the same time, I would do anything to protect you, because you are mine.  Just like I know you would make sure that nothing bad would ever happen to me... I would absolutely 100% take a bullet for you, just to show you how much I care about you... 

Because at the end of the day

 I will always love you, and I will die loving you.



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