Songs I'm Currently Listening To

06 September 2016

blog challenge

Songs I'm Currently Listening To

Can we talk about music for a second? I know I don't blog and share a lot of my favourite songs, but I do love to listen to music. Music is a huge part of my life... whether the words speak to my current feelings and situation, or the rhythm of a song makes me feel happy, I appreciate the beauty of music. 
With that being said, it is day 6 of the blogtember challenge, and I think you already know where I am going with this post...  
Tues., Sept 6: Create a playlist. What you're listening to now, what encourages you, holiday favourites, etc.
My "favourite" song changes on the daily! Literally. One day I would love one song, and then I tend to over it... all... day... long. For a good week or more. So, instead of sharing what my favourite songs are, I decided to create a playlist of songs that are currently on my replay list:

1. We Don't Talk Anymore - Charlie Puth ft. Selena Gomez
2. Into You - Ariana Grande
3. Closer - The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey
4. All in My Head (Flex) - Fifth Harmony ft. Betty Wap
5. Kill Em With Kindness - Selena Gomez  
6. Side to Side - Ariana Grande ft. Nicki Minaj
7. This is What You Came For - Calvin Harris ft. Rihanna
8. Don't Let Me Down - The Chainsmokers ft. Days
9. Dancing Kizomba - Alx Veliz
10. Piece by Piece - Kelly Clarkson

Well, there you go! Do you like some of these songs? 
What are you currently listening to?
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Currently in September

04 September 2016

blog challenge

Currently in September

READING... unfortunately, nothing at this moment. But, I am deciding between two books! 

PLAYING... colour switch! It's an addicting game my little cousins introduced me to! 

WATCHING... The Dark Knight on netflix... or at least I'm trying ton

TRYING... to write and finish this phone via my phone

EATING... some complimentary breakfast! YUM!

DRINKING... some good ol coffee!

CALLING... my sister 

TEXTING...  my cousin 

TWEETING... nothing... I seriously need to get back on the twitter game..

GOING... to the zoo later (hopefully!)

LOVING... my coffee this morning!

HATING... the runny nose I currently have 

DISCOVERING... simplicity is key 

THINKING... about how getting my nails done 

FEELING... excited! 

HOPING (for)... positive energy from others today 

LISTENING (to)... Closer by the Chainsmokers and Halsey 

CELEBRATING... that it is a long weekend! Wohoo!

SMELLING... that beautiful nature smell that the breeze picks up from the trees

ORDERING... nothing... saving my money for school! 

THANKING... the Lord for everything! 

CONSIDERING... my options for the wee

STARTING... to know it possible to not procrastinate

FINISHING... this post and my breakfast! And, just finishing a bit of editing for upcoming posts for the week!

                   

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September Goals!

02 September 2016

blog challenge

September Goals!

Hello, friends! 
It is Friday. It is the second day of August. And, this weekend is going to be a long weekend! After tonight's shift, I get to come home and sleep the night away, and even enjoy a couple more hours of sleep in the morning. You already know that I will be sleeping in this weekend. I've been exhausted this week, and I just really need to catch up on my sleep. 
But, before thinking about tomorrow, let's focus on today (kind of!) Today is day 2 of the blogtember challenge, and here I am, posting again! Yay, 2/2! 
Fri., Sept 2: Share a list of your current goals.
Since it is August, I decided to share my August goals with you all! 
August Goals Revisited

1. Don't touch the credit card. Ooppps. But, at least I used it only 5 times this month! Thats an improvement if you ask me.
2. Work
3. Keep active
4. Blog more
5. Watch less netflix, and read more. Yes, I am actually impressed with myself that I didn't watch a lot anything on netflix!!

This Month's Goals 1. REPLY BACK. Why am I so bad at this?? Whether it is a text message, Facebook message, or even blog comments, I seem to have such a bad habit of reading messages and then telling myself, oh I'll just reply later. Later never happens. My goal this month is to reply the moment after I read a message. This goes for blog comments as well... Definitely need to get back to a lot of your comments... sorry
2. Read a book I'm not sure how August flew by without me reading a single book... It just seems odd. I know I'm a slow reader, but I usually read at least 2 books a month... I just don't know how I started reading a book at the beginning of the month, and just never got around to finishing it. This month, the goal is to simply read one book. Haha, this should be simple! I'm really not that busy.
3. Complete more than half of blogtember prompts! If you didn't already know, I decided to participate in Bailey's 3rd annual blogtember blogging challenge! For the entire month of September, my main goal is to participate in at least half of the given prompts! In previous years I participated, but not for the entire month. With a little bit of planning, I really think this time will be different!
4. Hit the gym This month, my gym membership has most definitely got its money's use. Not only did I use my membership perks to hit the gym more often during the week, but also worked out in different locations of the city! I loved the change of vibe, and this month I really want to continue this momentum. 
5. Take photos This month, I want to take more photos! My camera roll is full of pictures of my work schedule... and Penelope of course. I need to change that. Maybe I can take a photo a day, whether it is my view of the day, or a selfie, I just want to take more photos this month! Especially of pretty things.
What are your September goals?
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VIDEO: Get To Know Me Tag!

01 September 2016

blog challenge

VIDEO: Get To Know Me Tag!

Hey, guys! 
For those dropping by for the first time, I want to say welcome to my little corner of the internet. My name is Vanessa, but we're friends now, so please call me Nessa! I pretty much write about whatever I'm currently loving, hating, and thinking -- so, basically just about anything and everything that crosses my mind!
For the month of September, I decided to join in on Bailey's Blogtember challenge! This is her third year hosting this blogging challenge. And, although I've participated in the past, I realized I never stuck around all the way through... This time, the goal is to participate in at least half of the prompts! With a little planning and preparing, I think I might be able to do it.  (Heck, I did it for today!)
Shall we get straight into today's prompt? 
Thurs., Sept. 1: Introduce yourself however you like! Pics, blog, collage, your choice :)
For my introduction, I decided to record a vlog! I've been saying I wanted to make one for while, so what better way to introduce myself than by answering a few questions!? It's less than 10 minutes (I think I talk too much...), but I really hope you decide to take the time to watch it all the way through!

Well, there you go! That is me! I really hope you enjoyed this vlog, I had fun making and editing it. I lied, editing it was horrible... but, I didn't leave it to last minute, so... it all worked out! 
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If We Were on a Coffee Date | vol. 7

31 August 2016

Coffee Dates

If We Were on a Coffee Date | vol. 7

If we were on a coffee date, we'd me meeting at the Second Cup near my work. This week, no scratch that, this entire month I've been devoted to work. Even though I am a part-time worker, I've been trying to pick up as many shifts as I can. So, why not make it easier for me (sorry.. if you have to travel far) and just meet up somewhere closer to my work. I mean, I'll most likely have a shift after our coffee date anyways. 

If we were on a coffee date, I'd be drinking a frozen/iced hot chocolate. I know the point of going on a coffee date is to meet up and have coffee... But, if you haven't tried this, oh my, you really are missing out. At first I was not too impressed at the idea of hot chocolate being cold... but, wow. It actually tastes amazing and it is absolutely perfect for the extremely hot weather we've been having here in Toronto. YUM. I've literally been spending all my spare change on this! 

If we were on a coffee date, I'd tell you that my cousin from France is flying in! This is kind of exciting news for me. The last time we saw each other was a couple of years ago when she flew into Toronto on her own. During her time here we took her to all sorts of places. Before her coming to Toronto, we actually also spent a few days with her in Paris, France, when my family took a trip up there couple years back. But, this time will be different. She's bringing her husband, whom I'm kind of excited to meet.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd confess that I'm a bit scared for September. All my friends are going back to school. And, this is the first time I'm literally not taking any sort of classes to keep my brain from plateauing. I do start school for nursing in January. So, I'm really hoping that the next few months will be a good relaxing period before the hectic school years begins. I really don't want the next few months to fuel my laziness and then go back to the school in January feeling lazy and not mentally prepared. Does that make sense?  

If we were on a coffee date, I'd ask how August was for you. August was such a rollercoaster for me. Some days flew, and some days were just way too long. So, I really cannot say whether August went by fast or not... There was just a lot happening, and I was wondering if you felt  the same.

If we were on a coffee date, I'd tell you that I'm participating in the #blogtember challenge! This is the third year Bailey from Brave Love Blog will be hosting this blogging challenge. In the past years I did participate, but not to the full extent. My goal this time around is to participate in more than half of the prompts! I'm really excited for this challenge. I was quickly going through some of the prompts and (as usual) their perfect! I've already got the next two posts ready and scheduled! One of them includes a video! Yay!

What about you? What would you tell me on our coffee date?

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She's Not A "Best" Friend.

30 August 2016

personal

She's Not A "Best" Friend.

This post is hard to write. All I know is that I am hurt. I am sadden...
Over the past couple of weeks (months maybe...),  I've been in denial. I've been in denial over facing my feelings: I no longer want any sort of contact with my so-called best friend. Let's name her... Nina. I've literally stopped replying to all of her messages, from whatsapp to snapchat, and I've been a bit more colder in person.
Looking back, I think it is fair to say that there are a number of situations which left me with such a wrong impression of Nina. From the way she speaks about her friends, or speaks towards others, or gets herself involved in other people's business... we are just two completely different people now. 
Her actions towards others aside, I've realized that I learned to tolerate her "jokes" towards others and myself. Perhaps, at first, they were funny, I'll give her that. But, lately, thinking back to past and more recent "jokes", I realized that they were actual digs!

Whenever we would hang out wherever, she would make comments like, "oh, I hate when I get pimples, I look so ugly." Or use the pronoun "us" to not really single someone out in the group like, "omg, we look so ugly today!" But, she never held out a mirror looking at her reflection when saying these type of comments... She would either be looking at me, or the third or fourth friend hanging out with us that day, who just so happen to have a big pimple on their cheek that very same day... 
But, I never really took notice any of it until it was a comment directed towards me. She wanted to take photos at place with a beautiful spray-painted wall. I felt so pretty that day, and I was eager to get in a new Facebook profile picture. But, when posing and giving my best smile, she made a few comments, "Why are you giving a fake smile?"... "be pretty"... "can you smile better?"
This might not sound like a big deal to you, but this actually shot my confidence down... immediately.
I could no longer just smile in general the rest of the day. I remember snapping at her saying, "you can't tell me I'm fake smiling when I'm giving my best smile. Thanks for pretty much saying I clearly don't look good today." I remember her kind of laughing it off, which just made me so angry. And, she immediately told me go back so she can take a good picture. I just left. I honestly couldn't deal with it.
I spoke to others about the situation. Some were saying, "Common... that's just Nina. That's how she is." Well, if that's how she is, I really don't want to associate or be around someone who constantly brings my confidence down. I already struggle enough with my look because of my weight... I don't need someone to take what I love about myself, and tear it down and make it into an insecurity...
I'm sure you've noticed... my instagram is no longer even filled with selfies. And, when I do take a pic of myself (which is rarely), I am not even looking into the camera with a wide smile showing teeth...
You really cannot call someone a friend, let alone a best friend, if they are making you feel self-conscious and less confident about yourself... even if it is intentional or unintentional. I just don't want any part of it.

And, like I said, this situation may seem like nothing to you, but my sister likes to describe it as the straw that broke the camel's back.
She tried apologizing to me.... OVER WHATSAPP. But, it wasn't even a good apology... it was like she was justifying herself. 

"yo my bad man. I didnt mean to put yu on spot. I Gueninely just made a comment."

Word for word. Punctuation for punctuation. Spelling for spelling. What a great apology...

She's done shady things to me in the past. Like tell some of my secrets to some of her other friends, who joyfully bring it up to me as if I told them my story myself... And, she's told me serious secrets about her friends. I'm not even kidding... She once told me her friend tried to overdosed herself because of blah blah blah... what kind of friend does that? Someone come to you in confidence and you just sh*t all over that trust and broadcast it to others?

I could only image what others know about me.

I'm just over it. I no longer want to surround myself with people like her. I'm trying to live a positive life, and this is the first time I'm expressing my feelings out loud about this mess of a friendship. And, it feels great to get everything out of my system. Well, almost everything... there's are many things she's done that is way too long for this post. And, I refuse to write 10+ posts talking about it all.

I'm ready to start a new chapter, without her. 

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What a Weekend!

29 August 2016

family

What a Weekend!

Is it really Monday already? I only ask because this past weekend was not only eventful, but tiring as well! This past weekend consisted of two weddings, and one (really) long hike!
I came home Friday, Saturday, and Sunday extremely exhausted.  I literally fell asleep the moment my head touched my pillow. There was just a lot happening! However, I really shouldn't complain. Over the course of the summer, the majority of my weekends consisted of just relaxing at home or working or going out for a couple of hours on a Saturday night. So, this past weekend was really such a good change of pace. 

On Friday, my God Brother/cousin (2nd cousin?) finally tied the knot to his beautiful bride. What got me the most was the fact that they've been dating for 10 years! I was literally in denial thinking back to the first time I heard about his girlfriend - I was 11 years old. Time flies, and I'm really happy that they get to have many more years together. 
I unfortunately did not attend the wedding ceremony part at the church, I did however attend their reception. I have to say, their wedding reception was beautiful and organized (for once)! Unlike other brown family parties that I've attended, which are literally 2 hours behind, everything was all timed out perfectly! I even loved the fact that they took the time to decide the seating arrangements! It was all to perfect. (This all might be a norm for you at weddings and functions, but not for brown fam jams. Trust me.)

My phone was dying fast that Friday night all because snapchat was being dumb and not posting anything. So by the time we were 2 hours into the wedding, I gave up on snapchat only to find myself with 36% battery left for the rest of the night. Usually I wouldn't mind because I have a backup charger, but that decided to break when I accidentally dropped it earlier when trying to get into the car. So, I unfortunately did not take too my pictures. 

The main cousins and I, as per usual, took photos of each other in our outfits. And, I wore a beautiful pink coloured saree that was simple yet chic. I love simplicity. I also love wearing a saree blouse that is completely different from the saree material and material. Oh, plus the colour of my hair looked absolutely perfect with my saree. Everything little detail really did tie in together properly.
The very next morning, my other cousin decided to get married! I'm not very close with her (anymore), but we still attended and I was genuinely very happy for her and her hubby. They were actually very cute together! You can very well see the love they have for each other, and they both looked absolutely stunning! 
They, as a couple, are very low-key. I'm not entirely sure why, but they decided to pass on having a wedding ceremony at a church. Instead, they had a wedding registration in a hall with only 100 of their "closest" family. Very different from the wedding from the night before. But, nevertheless, it was still a beautiful ceremony.

I decided to pass on wearing a saree, and instead wear a completely different style. To be honest, I forgot what this style is called, but it's a two piece as you can see in the photos above. Like a saree, I wore a blouse, but unlike a saree, I wore a long skirt and a shall. I think this was a great decision, especially since the night before we didn't get home until very late. And, because my mom is Filippina and doesn't know how to wrap me in a saree, I would have had to travel to my aunt's house early in the morning to help me get dressed. So, wearing this was easy to slip on. The only struggle was the waking up part! 

I felt bad about my energy through the wedding though. Because of the late night and early wake up, I didn't feel like me. I was much more quiet. And a little more sassier (okay.. maybe more meaner) than usual.  I guess I was just exhausted. I was definitely not all talks and smiles.
One amazing thing about this wedding was meeting so many family members that knew both my sister and I in our "early days", as they like to describe. A lot of them were also telling us about them being at my parents wedding. I even met one of my mother's bridesmaid. Weird... not exactly sure about the story there and why our families haven't spoken in all the years... My parents were very dismissive about the whole thing as well... weird. But, it was still great to meet other family members. 
That day, I went home, and fell asleep. I didn't wake up until Sunday. 12+ hours of sleep still did not feel like it was enough!  

Sunday, was a bit more of a "relaxing" day. I woke up early, and went on a hike. I actually went back to a location that I did not complete. Again, I didn't get to complete it. This trail had a lot of up and down hills, and found myself having a lot of back pain during the uphills. Because it was my back, we decided to call it quits and hit up a different venue. 
I also got the chance to watch Don't Breathe in theatres, which just came out this weekend. And, what a great thriller that was! I usually love thrillers anyways, but this was on a different level for me. I was actually at the edge of my seat constantly guessing what would happen next, and then be surprised when it went in a completely different direction. An amazing movie! (watch there trailer HERE).
Afterwards, I went grocery shopping before hitting the gym and focused a lot of my back (due to earlier pains). I'm not sure if it helped, but I definitely will be going back to the gym later today. 
So, there you go! Today's post was a bit longer than usual, but hey, I'm blogging on a Monday after an exhausting weekend. And, you're here reading it! So yay us for being some go-getters on a Monday! 
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