30 September 2014
Goodbye September, Hello October!
30 September 2014
Goodbye September, Hello October!
29 September 2014
Weekly Wishes #35
29 September 2014
Weekly Wishes #35
- Finish my assignment. I have yet another assignment due on Tuesday. And another one due on the 9th of October. There is just a lot of work.
- Plan blog prompts. Now that I will be busy with school, I decided to plan (like a to do list format) of blog prompts I would be blogging about everyday. I also hope to write most of them on the weekends so that I am able to stay up with school work, and also keep up with my blog.
- Clean my room/ Reorganize. My sister is slowly moving her stuff out as she is preparing to move into the resident life at her new university! I gotta make sure she doesn't take any of my cloths/shoes/makeup - everything. Time to clean up and take ownership of what is really mine!
- Hit the gym 4-5 times this week. Yes, I need to make sure I stick to this plan, and actually hit the gym to lose weight and attain my dream body!
- Make time for friends. Okay, I'll admit it. I may be going a tad crazy over my school work. I need to include friends in my life because lets face it, I am getting lonely whenever I don't have someone beside me to share jokes with. So, this week, I promise to hang out with you all, and I'll even text you first!
- Get my contacts back. I lost my contacts about a week ago, and I didn't even care. Until recently I realized that I was unable to reach a lot of my missing contacts. It really is a hassle to message people on Facebook and then wait for their response... I'm just gonna make an effort to get them all back!
These are my wishes for the week. If you're participating and happened to hop onto my blog, leave your link so I can leave some encouragement as well! Have a great Monday, xo
27 September 2014
Confessions of a 3rd Year Uni Student! - Week #3
27 September 2014
Confessions of a 3rd Year Uni Student! - Week #3
26 September 2014
Grudges
26 September 2014
Grudges
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Today is the 7th day of the 16 day plan in my journey of reading, reflection and responding to what the bible says about love. If you'd like to follow alone, join HERE and perhaps start your own journey! Ready to go on this journey with me? Well then, let's get started!
Pardon my language, but I've been through sooo much shit - shit that you probably would have never imaged someone my age would have ever gone through. These experiences are so haunting, I am ashamed to say that I sometimes do live in the past. I've experienced the whole cheating thing; whether I seen it with my own eyes, or I've been cheated on, or I've cheated (I'm providing different varieties of one situation here), it doesn't matter. Hurt is hurt. And being hurt is never fun.
Whenever someone hurts me, I am soooo down with no motivation for life - literally. I get this feeling of being soooo little where no one understand what I am going through, nor do I even give anyone a chance to understand. It is a complicated circumstance to be in.... But, I guess that is life. And life can make us do crazy things; like forgive those who continue to hurt us.
Whoever covers an offence seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. - Proverbs 17:9 (ESV)There is one person, who I am not comfortable mentioning, who has seriously hurt me so much. It was like I've been beaten down to my weakest state after witnessing what I've witnessed. The worst part was, I didn't understand at the time. And worst of all, I didn't do anything to stop it. I could've stopped it then, but I didn't. And now I am living in hell. I am living with the regret of not telling others who were involved, and I still have this someone in my life continuing to hurt me.
Like I said in previously posts, things are easier said than done. Forgiveness? I promise you, it is a working progress. But, it is hard. It is hard to see what her actions have done to not only her family, but to everyone else, from her nieces and nephews, to the friends she had. It is sooo hard to not be able to talk about it, when I know people know. If I was able to see it with my own eyes, I'm sure others did to... I don't know.
But over the years, I've learnt to forgive. I know I want to, but its the trust I am trying to gain back. From this experience, without forgiveness, you are closing yourself to others. And without opening up to others, we are unable to build new and continue relationships.
Forgiveness is just the first of many steps that open you up to love. Forgiveness teaches you who you can and can trust. If that someone does something hurtful towards you a second time, then you know for sure that you tried your damn hardest to open up and beginning something new. Forgiveness also teaches you more about yourself.
Forgiveness shows the kind of person you are; and this is something that God wants for us. Yes, he wants us all to love and treat others with respect and kindness. But, he cannot physically tell us what to do, and how to do it on a 24/7 basis. Yes, he is there within us all the time, but not there physically. Therefore, it is up to us to learn who we are on our own pace. The way we treat others is a true reflection of who we are - and this begins with forgiveness and love.
24 September 2014
I Don't Want to Hang Out...
24 September 2014
I Don't Want to Hang Out...
Okay, so on Wednesdays, I have a class that is from 9am - 12 noon, three looooooong hours. Afterwards, I have a two hour break until my next class which begins at 2. And then I am done for the day at 3pm. Okay, so within that two hour break, my friend from my 9am class also has a break - like 3 hours or something. I don't remember. Anyways, this friend just always wants to do something for these two hours. And I find that annoying. I really do. I'm currently taking classes that requires a lot of attention and reading... So whenever I have break, I make an effort to sit down in the library and do what I have to do. I find this not only beneficial towards the course, but beneficial for myself so that I am not stumped with last minute studying for 2-3 subjects on one weekend.
Anyways... majority of the friends I have do not understand this. Instead, they rather walk around campus talking, or just sitting down talking. Like, there is nothing wrong with socializing, nor is there nothing wrong with wanting to study. I am being completely honest when I say I cannot get any school work done at home, so why not use my time wisely? But, like I said, my friends do not seem to understand this and just want to be together ALLLLLL the time.
Like I need my space to... Is that too hard to ask? It is to the point where I told this friend that I recently enrolled in a class ... which was obviously a lie. But, I guess that lie caught up to me... One of my classes actually added up open lab hours during those two hours, which is actually a real excuse to leave! Hopefully the person I am talking about doesn't read my blog... I guess we will find out the next time we have class (either today or tomorrow).
22 September 2014
Weekly Wishes #34
22 September 2014
Weekly Wishes #34
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- Finish my assignment. I have this difficult assignment due Tuesday. I've done as much as I could on the weekend, and I am hoping I finish the rest by early today, so that the rest of the night I can just over things here and there.
- Sleep. Yes, although most of my classes are after 12 noon, for some reason I wake up at 7 am. The problem is I go to bed late. So there needs to be a trade off... it is either I sleep early so that I am refreshed when I wake up early, or that I have to learn to sleep in just a little more.
- Plan blog prompts. Now that I will be busy with school, I decided to plan (like a to do list format) of blog prompts I would be blogging about everyday. I also hope to write most of them on the weekends so that I am able to stay up with school work, and also keep up with my blog.
- Clean my room/ Reorganize. My sister is slowly moving her stuff out as she is preparing to move into the resident life at her new university! I gotta make sure she doesn't take any of my cloths/shoes/makeup - everything. Time to clean up and take ownership of what is really mine!
- Hit the gym 4-5 times this week. Yes, I need to make sure I stick to this plan, and actually hit the gym to lose weight and attain my dream body!
- Text people back. I have a bad habit of texting people for a couple of hours, the all of a sudden get bored and then just stop talking to them all together. I do feel bad, but I usually tell myself that I would text back and then end up not doing so... Maybe I should develop the habit of telling others "late replies" or at least "bye" to end the conversation properly!
These are my wishes for the week. If you're participating and happened to hop onto my blog, leave your link so I can leave some encouragement as well! Have a great Monday, xo
20 September 2014
Confessions of a 3rd Year Uni Student! - Week #2
20 September 2014
Confessions of a 3rd Year Uni Student! - Week #2
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19 September 2014
Turn the Tables
19 September 2014
Turn the Tables
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Today is the 6th day of the 16 day plan in my journey of reading, reflection and responding to what the bible says about love. If you'd like to follow alone, join HERE and perhaps start your own journey! Ready to go on this journey with me? Well then, let's get started!
I'll admit anytime as I am not ashamed of this - I am someone who constantly puts others before me. Why? Well, no I am actually not a push over (anymore), I've learnt what my limits are, and I've learned right from wrong. But is more about me being okay with this attribute because I know how hard it is to find someone good now a days. I'm not talking about people who are the true definition of good; I'm talking about having a good heart.
We all have that one friend who is just selfish and malicious. Everything has to be done their way, or else you have to face the wrath of their self-pity party or even the social exclusion from them. These, are the type of people I do not ever want to surround myself with, ever again. Why? Because they bring the worst out of us... you know that saying, "You are who your friends are". If I am secretly disliking someone who treats me so badly, what will others see me when I stand behind this so-called friend when they are hurting others?
So instead of being that person is peoples lives, I choose to be the good friend. The friend who will talk to you until 2am because you and your boyfriend got into a fight, the friend who will never drink at a party because I know you will, the friend who will always want the best for you, and the friend who will want to push you to do your best. This is exactly who I am attaining to be everyday, to be a good influence for not only my friends, but for my sister. Now that she is living away, it is of course hard to give her advice when I don't see what she is doing, but the great thing about sisters is that we always talk.
So, let me guess what your thinking. "okay, we get it Vanessa, you're a good friend to your family and your friends. That's easy." And, your right. It is extremely easy to love and care for those who has been apart of you since forever. But, it is easier said than done when it comes to those who've hurt you in the past.
"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and you reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. Luke 6: 35I've said it already, why would you want to surround yourself around those who bring the worst out of you? I know I don't. Some characteristics people display is truly ugly, and I honestly want no part of it. So why does god as us to stay away from our enemies? He doesn't necessarily want us to ignore them, thats for sure. But, in modern terms, "be the bigger person".
Everything we do has a consequence, whether it is a good consequence, or even a bad one. But, there is always something that comes out of our actions. If we retaliate against out enemies, of course their reaction is to do the same thing. This is what creates "fights" between friends who decide to just "get back at each other" instead of working things out. Speaking from personal experience, the fight will continue on and on that you eventually forget why you guys were fighting in the first place...
What He is saying here in the quote is an honest test to see what we do with the abundance of love He has given to us. Are we sharing it with specific people, and sharing none with others? Or are we sharing it with everyone? Just as everything has a consequence, good choices do to. And sharing our love with others will always return back to you in one shape or another. Whether it is through the simple act of someone holding the door for you when you're carrying heavy textbooks, or someone helping you carry your stroller down the escalator, or someone physically taking care of you in the hospital bed, love is one of the most powerful feelings that truly makes us all feel better about ourselves. Love from others is a true testament of the kind of character you are, and how God's love is affecting us.
18 September 2014
#tbt That Time I Went To L.A.
18 September 2014
#tbt That Time I Went To L.A.
17 September 2014
I Am Easily Annoyed!
17 September 2014
I Am Easily Annoyed!
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16 September 2014
Most People Don't Know This But...
16 September 2014
Most People Don't Know This But...
15 September 2014
What It Was Like Growing Up With Two Backgrounds!
15 September 2014
What It Was Like Growing Up With Two Backgrounds!
Anyways, for those of you who didn't already know, yes, I am mixed child. My mother was born in the Philippines while my dad was born in Sri Lanka. Making me half Filippina and half Sri Lankan. I know, crazy isn't it? Even until now, I usually get a mixed reaction from people when I tell them, ranging from "oh wow that's amazing!" to "well that sounds random." Yes, I've experienced it all.
But, looking back at my past, I'm actually ashamed of the way I felt about having two backgrounds. I never really understood why I was "stuck" with two backgrounds, but I clearly remember always wanting to avoid the question whenever people were talking about they background.
I think it stems from the fact of what kind of elementary school I went to - it was literally dominated by white people; mostly Portuguese people. So, basically almost 99% of the students in my elementary school literally had only one background. So, whenever it was the first day of school and the teachers were asking questions about us, and each student had to answer the questions in front of everyone, then when it was my turn, I always saw the confusion on peoples faces whenever I told them.
Then I would have to explain how my mom had a Filipino friend who was dating one of my dad's Sri Lankan friends, and that couple set up a blind date for both my mother and father; and taxa that's how they met.
Turns out I was ashamed of nothing. Mixed children are actually very beautiful. Not trying to seem cocky, but those are usually the compliments I receive before others find out that I am a mixed breed.
I think it stems from the fact of what kind of elementary school I went to - it was literally dominated by white people; mostly Portuguese people. So, basically almost 99% of the students in my elementary school literally had only one background. So, whenever it was the first day of school and the teachers were asking questions about us, and each student had to answer the questions in front of everyone, then when it was my turn, I always saw the confusion on peoples faces whenever I told them.
Then I would have to explain how my mom had a Filipino friend who was dating one of my dad's Sri Lankan friends, and that couple set up a blind date for both my mother and father; and taxa that's how they met.
*****
But then when I went to high school, and met so many different people from so many different backgrounds, I actually gained this confidence about who I am. I was actually no longer ashamed to talk about where I was from. In fact, I began to embrace it and surprisingly, others actually found it quite beautiful. Which, I agree. I find others who are of mixed backgrounds to be absolutely beautiful!
Turns out I was ashamed of nothing. Mixed children are actually very beautiful. Not trying to seem cocky, but those are usually the compliments I receive before others find out that I am a mixed breed.
Weekly Wishes #33
Weekly Wishes #33
- Do readings ahead of time. It is the second week of school, and I want to keep up my momentum of staying on top of my class - yes, that includes doing ALL the readings AHEAD of time. This is definitely a skill that is worth starting now.
- Sleep. I need to remember that sleep is the most important part of being successful. I need rest in order to study - I'm going to need sleep (and a lot) every day of the week!
- Plan blog prompts. Now that I will be busy with school, I decided to plan (like a to do list format) of blog prompts I would be blogging about everyday. I also hope to write most of them on the weekends so that I am able to stay up with school work, and also keep up with my blog.
- Clean my room/ Reorganize. My sister is slowly moving her stuff out as she is preparing to move into the resident life at her new university! I gotta make sure she doesn't take any of my cloths/shoes/makeup - everything. Time to clean up and take ownership of what is really mine!
- Hit the gym 4-5 times this week. Yes, I need to make sure I stick to this plan, and actually hit the gym to lose weight and attain my dream body!
- Plan out new workout routine. Because I have an entirely new schedule for school, I need to plan out what days and time I will be available to stop by the gym. With that, I need a new workout schedule. I am more serious than ever to lose weight that I am planning to designate a day solely to one part of my body, i.e., Monday could be arms day!
These are my wishes for the week. If you're participating and happened to hop onto my blog, leave your link so I can leave some encouragement as well! Have a great Monday, xo
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